New Normal

 Stop updating for 2 years since 2020. 

What had i done for the past 2 years?

Started a relationship and ended. Then started another relationship till now.

Changed a new company and left. Then started another job in another new company till now.

Oh ya, obeyed to all covid measurements for the past 2 years..

Masks on.. safe distancing... WFH... vaccination... blah blah

New normal life. This is the term government use to encourage residents to be motivated for future. Not to lose hope.

After all these, I became more comfortable to stay home.

Not interested to go travel... more interested to go back hometown to stay with mother.

Gradually lose interest to interact with people... gradually lose the ability to communicate.

Of course aging haha.

Thats all for today la.... 

媽媽，我想你了

今天想媽媽了。

心彷徨了。我哭了。

情緒來了。感性起來了。

媽媽，希望你知道我是愛你的。

現在好像回家看你。抱一抱。

Year 2020 Goals

Wow, the post was delayed since December last year. It's March now.
Anyway, it never too late for anything.
Let's set 2020 personal goal.

So, let's review personal goal set in year 2019.

Here you go
1. Buy a house
2. Study foreign language
3. Read 20 books.
4. Tummy goes away
5. Go travel

For house, yes, I owned a house now but house loan is yet to settle and just started since Jan 2020.
So, one goal is done.

For studying foreign language, erm, is sign language consider as foreign language. I guess is a "yes". HAHA. Ya, I took elementary sign language course. It's pretty interesting. It allowed me to explore new culture. Quite difficult but learning is always enhance our life.
So, second goal is achieved.

Next, reading 20 books. Haiz, I read honestly but the reading speed is kinda slow. Plus, I have a lots of material to read like news, social media article, etc. So, I did reading books but maybe just 5 books.
So, 5/20 meaning only 25% of the goal. It sound bad but better than nothing.
So, reading goal is partially accomplished.

Ahha, for tummy, surprisingly I have little happy that the goal is almost achieved. It yet to achieve that full tummy is gone but almost 70% of the tummy is left. So, I'm pretty slim now. Hehe, happy. Yoga and jogging are really helping a lots plus nutrition and volume intake control.
I would score myself partially about 70% achievement for this goal.

Last but not least, travelling, yeah, I went for travel quite number of places. Let me list down.
1. Guang Zhou
2. Taiwan
3. Batam
4. Thailand
5. Staycation at Muar and KL
Yeah, last goal is checked.

Let me summarize again for year 2019 goals.
1. Buy a house                       -> Done
2. Study foreign language      ->Done
3. Read 20 books.                   -> 25% Done
4. Tummy goes away              ->70% Done
5. Go travel                              -> Done

Wow, it seems like a good result. Should reward myself hehe.

No more nonsense, let's set year 2020 goals.
1. Read 20 books
2. Six pack tummy
3. Pass JLPT4
4. Detox on daily basis (get away from constipation)
5. Get away from pimple face

That's it at the moment.
Let's work out my goals.

Stay healthy always... Virus fighting.

2019

It's time to set goal for 2019. When it was still end of 2018, my mind kept reminding to set goal for next year. But busy plus lazy, 2018 is over. Once again, it proves time flies.

Back to topics, in my company, it always has quarterly review the past and future direction. So am I. Hence, I'm going to review my past year 2018 before setting goal for 2019.

First of all, let me dig out the goal setting for 2018.....

Oh no!!! I didn't set goal for 2018 actually. It was 2017 goals.... 

Hell, is this busy plus aging!!!

I actually forget the whole year yet I thought it was set....AGING SYMPTOM!!!

Anyway, lets be mercy so, let's start my goal setting for this year 2019.

In this case, let me dig out the goal for 2017...

Here you go....

1. Stay healthy and get away my tummy.
2. Beauty myself by getting away from pimple and have fair skin on my face.

Obviously, both are failed. SAD. Tummy and pimple still with me. 

5 why analysis...

Goal 1: 

why failed? because didn't work out.

why didn't? because no time.

why no time? because time was priority reserve for other things.

why work out was not first priority? because study and work are priority.

So, root caused found and acceptable. bull shit.

Goal 2:

why failed? because allergy.

why allergy? because .... Went for skin specialist and tested, further test is required and I gave up.

So, root caused unknown. Just pray....

Okay... I want to set goal for 2019.

1. Buy a house.

2. Study foreign language.

3. Read 20 books.

4. Tummy go away.

5. Go travel.

Next, is setting milestone for each goal.

No idea now. So, I will do it next time. Bye!!!

被虐型的硕士生

离完成学业还有那么仅仅的
一小段了。。。
还没完成就感觉空虚了
以为没有了学业带来的压力，人会轻松些
可没想到，反而失去了精神支柱。。。
感觉少了什么似的。。。

我就是犯贱。。。
苦命型。。。

难怪朋友告知我是个，天蝎座喜爱被虐的那一方。。。

为了人感觉满满的。。
我开始计划我以后闲出来的时间了。。。

大概都是些，家人为中心之类吧！！！

加油吧。。。亚洲人。。

我成长了吗？

管理人真的难。管着管着我也麻了。

绊脚石的信，没有情绪的我就纸上一签，往上面一交，就忘了。
忘了应该来个一对一问候什么的。直到几天后他来问我“我的信，你看到了吗？"
我才记起来了。。。

我什么时候变得那么没有感觉。

最近，某某可能要因为工作表现需要离开。。。我还点头同意。。。

我什么时候变得那么无情。

这是成长吗？

想念

好久没有部落格啦。
突然想起，所以来逛逛。

上个月，在脸书上乱滑时，看了个视频。
有个小孩，特别可爱，特别吸睛。
他唱了首歌，特有意思。歌名是“常回家看看”
我忍不住重复听，也搞不清楚哪里一个点让我感动得哭了起来。
特别特别想念妈妈。

歌词简单到位

找点空闲　给我点时间　领着孩子常回家看看
带上笑容　带上祝愿　陪同爱人常回家看看
妈妈准备了一些唠叨　爸爸张罗了一桌好饭
生活的烦恼跟妈妈说说　工作的事情向爸爸谈谈
常回家看看回家看看　那怕帮妈妈刷刷筷子洗洗碗
老人不图儿女为家做多大贡献　一辈子不容易就图个团团圆圆
常回家看看回家看看　那怕给爸爸捶捶后背揉揉肩
老人不图儿女为家做多大贡献　一辈子总操心就图个平平安安

最爱听的那段是
老人不图儿女为家做多大贡献　一辈子总操心就图个平平安安

有人说，只有自己当了妈妈才会体会到妈妈的心境。
虽然我不是妈妈，可是有时候就特别担心妈妈
特别想她。

老人家多半要个伴儿。我多么希望妈妈能有我的陪伴。
我不孝女，总爱找借口。世上没有两全其美，有得必有 失。
要取舍，要平衡。

这会儿想得哭出来了。
立马安排时间，买了票回家去。
看到了妈妈就安心了

Goals for 2017

It's boxing day. It means end of year 2016 is soon around the corner.
So, let's review my 2016 goals as below.

1. Read 50 books in year 2016.
2. Stay healthy and get away my tummy.
3. Study Master.
4. Beauty myself by getting away from pimple and have fair skin on my face.

Well, apparently, failed for 3 out of 4.
1. I read some books, but 50 books are way to achieve. Sorry to myself.
2. Stay healthy is achieved by end of the year but yet tummy still with me and seem like growing in a constant rate. Sad to tell this.
3. YEAH, I achieved this one that started since September. Still long way to go. New chapter of my life is started.
4. Well, failure, pimple is better but keep it on and off. Seem like no way to get off my face.

Haha, At least I achieved one.

So, what about 2017. How about continue to my previous goals.

1. Stay healthy and get away my tummy.
2. Beauty myself by getting away from pimple and have fair skin on my face.

I guess I will busy with my master study and not much time for other goals. So, that's it for 2017. ^^

公司来那么一出<乱世出佳人>

好长一段时间没来这里。也把这里忘了一段时间。现在失眠就突然想起。
每次享用了茶后都这样。糊涂的我也常不理会。晚上才来后悔。

没关系，这样也让我比较有心思分享。

说说公司吧。。

公司总让我觉得一团糟。不过。。。
某某能力很强的同事说，对一个准备待续，等待机会的人来说，公司的糟无疑是某某人的一出“乱世出佳人”。

某某对我来说就是“乱世出佳人”的绝好例子。在问题丛丛的团队脱颖而出，成功上位。
强国的人果然非常强，聪明地让我佩服。当然上天是公平的，人没有完美，某某虽然工作表现满分却缺乏耐心。招惹许多部属的怨，当然还不到恨。

其实重点也不是什么，可能某某特意树立那么一个严谨的形象好让员工管理方面比较顺心吧！！成功人士厉害就是在这里，懂得捉心里，应用不一样的途径去达成理想。

虽然我们不同team, 但奇怪的发展，我们成为看戏吃饭的伴。每次聊天都压力山大，却又学习深渊。某某的见解非常与众不同，却也心机丛丛。好在某某的心机都很正面，出发点都不是要伤害别人。那如果在事情的发展中有人受伤，那就是那人咎由自取了。俗语说“不进则退”，虽然不能完全说不是某某的问题，不过在对方努力而没有伤害的成分下而发生的话，我想说，受伤的人要为自己受伤负大部分责任。因为对方努力，而自己没有付出，在职场上，能力者上，这是在普通不过了。在这种情况下受伤的人请自行反省，别一味埋怨别人啦。。。。

好累，天亮了，一夜未睡的我该补眠了。

Goals of the Year 2016

That day I asked her one question.

"Did you ever encounter those period in your life that is day counting days after days?"

She frown and answer "No".

Continuing, she said "Why? Are you reflecting your life now?"

I was embarrassed like my mind was being read by her.

Actually yes, I'm doing it now. I cross my calendar everyday like counting my day. In short, I'm having challenge-less life now as I have time to do such silly thing. It's not my style.

Apparently, it's my comfort zone now. Urge to change but reluctant to move. Laziness always is human's weakness.

Whenever I facebook somebody picture, by seeing their successful, I wish I am the one. I always be encouraged at that moment. But, after some times, I realize I keep the same and never move.

People always set goal at the beginning of the years. I set some as other people to make my life meaningful. Of course, it looks weak compare with others

1. Read 50 books in year 2016.
2. Stay healthy and get away my tummy.
3. Study Master.
4. Beauty myself by getting away from pimple and have fair skin on my face.

Before accomplish my goal of the year, lets review the year of 2015.

What had you done? Erm....

1. Biz trip to Japan. Be frank, this was a surprise from my boss. From there, I realized my big boss recognized my effort that I was pretty happy with that.

2. Promoted. Heard that it was my small boss idea to promote me. Hence, he is another people recognized me. Happy!!! However, the period of starting, there was office politic happened at me. Some one resigned.
I was upset myself with the incident. How could this happening to me? Anyway, it's over now.

3. I reduced 4kg of my weight. Means, I am healthier now. Good sign to accomplish my 2016 goals.

Erm... seem this is that much I had in my year 2015. Pretty less thing had done by me. sound low productivity.

Since 2015 is passed, we shouldn't cry for spitted milk. Lets focus on my 2016 goals.

Gambateh.

苏志夑

最近迷他，连续一个月每天看他的戏。
他的歌没有很好听。可是他是魅力型。就算歌没在听，却有在看。

相信每个粉丝都是这样。
我是浅迷吧，至少没花钱。哈哈


写这个不是炫耀看了他多少部戏，也不是推荐他简介他。
 只是想说，人的幻想能力是很强的。

只要朔造得好，人可以把喜欢的东西完美化。
喜欢享受被自己完美化的东西是沉迷吗？还是一种生活乐趣？
当发现完美的人有点缺陷就会疯掉吗？

看了无数他的影片，都好看直到有个他没在笑看起来耍大牌的影片。
发现他也是个有情绪的人类，并非我脑子里的那个。

可能想得太美了。看着这个影片，也就开始讨厌他。

所谓爱与恨是一线之差。虽然没那么严重。却也开始体会。

还好看他是个乐趣，所以拿到了个平衡点。
看他的感觉还蛮好的。
哈哈

Ireland's Greeting

It is kinda warm and lovely to receive mail from far west Ireland especially from a bff that has been known for 21 years.

Card is meaningful, lovely and sentimental. It was my favorite for apologies, birthday and travel souvenir.

I had forgotten the hobby that I ever had till the Christmas greeting card from her.

To make a card meaningful, you have to write something on it.

Writing is a healthy activity for balance life though it is not everyone's favorite. For me, it is. I remember one of the author share that one's life need input and output to balance life.

What is input?
It could be learning or experiencing through reading, listening, and studying.

What about output?
When you learn something, you have to utilize it. You will know the knowledge you have are meaningful to life.
When you read something, you should share it. You will input more when sharing and creativity will approach you. Then you will find life is interesting.

Writing is an mind organizing exercise. With writing, you will make up your mind, clear it, and know the direction. Of course, writing allow writer to beautify the sentence before sharing in a slow pace atmosphere. Therefore, minimize the conflict and maybe enhance your life. So, I feel relax after blogging.

Okay back to topic, my bff, she is far away from me now. What she is really doing? Is she good? I have little idea only. The little thing that I know for sure is via social media FB... I forgot ever since when, we talk less. Although it sound sad, but it's true, distance kills friendship, time kills too. I guess it happen to mostly of the friendship. No matter how, I am happy and smile genuine whenever I remember her. She is the longest friendship I ever have in my life. To me, yes, the longest, but I am not sure is it the same to her. Never mind, it is not important.

Important things is we are glad to have each other. Appreciate the time we talk nonsense on phone for hours costly for parent, we hang out for nothing especially overnight at her house. We talk forever although only two of us. Dreams, future, boys, blah blah blah.

Not sure is it happen to you. I don't talk much now. Especially colleagues, or just normal friend. The atmosphere is fine when the conversation is conducted by more than 2 persons. But, whenever is just two person, I feel tension and lack of topics to share. Awkward situation will then happen. Not sure is it due to my bad expression skill or due to lacking of knowledge. I really don't like to hang out now.

She is coming back Malaysia by next year for a month I guess. So, it is kinda excited for me to meet up. The gathering more or less must be Elaine, Emma and me. Glad that we are still friends.


Emma, see you soon.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Cafe Writting as JK. Rowling

Foung below article that was written 1 yr ago. 

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What am I doing now? Well the answer is dining alone at KFC. After months almost a year of traveling alone, I get used of being alone. I thought I could handle myself very well while being alone but some how, I feel awkward at the starting of my every meal that is having alone. But things run well after seated.

What's next after finish the meal? Haha... I'm lost as well. Okay, the moment of looking for entertainment to kill time while waiting coach. I try to surf internet but KFC WiFi is sucks. Luckily I am able to access fm station.

Radio station is a normal and basic entertainment which is not much interesting to me. Some how, I got into a romantic and soft station. It likes a time tunnel bringing me to old school. Sentiment sound from the DJ lead me to a very leisure times like I'm having trip to Europe or London. It's like I'm staying in a luxury hotel enjoying deluxe meal and services.

I feel so good and perhaps I could close my eyes to imagine how lovely it would be if this is real. I'm focus on composing my article which I nearly leave the real world and go into my own lovely imagination world.

Actually I'm thinking how nice if I could have a book to read. Get some input to my mind doing some brainstorming.but I failed to get one. Never mind, I'm creating it.

My activity that writing in a restaurant made me think of Rowling. She is the author of the Harry Potter. She started and completed the novel in a cafe. As what I'm doing now, I might be able to understand some of her emotions during writing. Its inspiration, its sentimental and lovely.

Today was a happy day. Colleague are so nice, so helpful. I love to work with them. Maybe I'm new to the company, I'm still able to enjoy the privileges as a new staff in a company. I think its understandable.

However today also is a resignation day of him. Honestly I dislike him. The main reason is his rude talk. Obviously nobody in company like him. The way he act is too bossy, he is over confidence, rude and stupid.

He offense most of the colleague even me. But I still manage to communicate with him. Working wise, he is responsible but not educated.

I am rude when talking about him. So, let's stop this topic.

Birthday @ Boracay

This is my first time birthday surprise is truly madly deeply surprise me.

But I’m not saying previous birthday was not surprise… just not that truly madly and deeply…

Haha

The whole trip is so brilliant till my mind is full of Boracay. This is why I nearly forget my birthday. 

The meaning of Boracay in chinese is long beach island. The beach is really long that it takes an hour ++ or 2 to fully complete the walk of Boracay beach. There are restaurant from franchise to local market available along the beach. You can feel the sand from crude to fine sands. Fine sands could be found at S1. 

Our trips itinerary full with activities, I wish to have a day extra to sit back and relax at the beach for hours. It could be drinks, a nap or day dreaming at the beach. If I could have this to add on to my Boracay trips, it would be a perfect trip.

However, it is a perfect trip to me even though I don’t have that extra day. This is because, my lovely secondary class mate pre-celebrate my birthday with me here in Boracay. Although we don’t have the bon fire, but still there was a local live band arranged for my birthday song. 

Filipino is friendly enough to sang me the birthday song like I’m their friend too. The arrangement was a bit confusing that when the birthday song is sung, I thought there was someone else birthday, so I help on it with full of my energy as I was so happy with the beach. And then I remember my birthday. 

At this minute, the cake appeared and was moving towards me… from there, I knew the birthday girl is me.

Once again, it was truly madly deeply happy that everyone was celebrating for me.

The happiness stay till now with me in Singapore…

Happy birthday to Shirley in Boracay!!!!

 ps: To arrange this, someone purposely bought a coffee and brought back to hotel just to prove me. How lovely they are.

Ariel Point @ Boracay

Most enjoyable island trip ever had so far.

Enjoy the atmosphere, music, unlimited drinks, surrounding by bikini and handsome Caucasian blah blah blah…

It is my first time to drinks on boat… got tipsy on boat and feel like flying to paradise…. I got silly picture for this. 

Luckily, I never sea sick so far =)

It is my first time to cliff dive

It is my first time to swim in sea without life jacket

It is my first time to snorkeling without life jacket

There were funny things happened, well… people might find it boring but I do feel interesting and made me laugh.

One of my travel mate cliff dive calmly, but all of us burst out loudly when she got out of the water, her pant (newly bought with 100peso which we felt cheap but nice) broke out all the way of the sewing of both side seaming. I guess you can’t imagine it but I LOL for every single times of remembering it.

She is kinda “do not know what to react” face. Haha, she felt embarrassed but found funny with the incident too. So, she threw the pant in hotel during check out. The most funny part was the cleaner chased all the way to us just to return the broken pant to our cute travel mate and this make us burst out a non-stop laughter.  How best the service line is provided in Boracay Philippine.

Apart from this, another travel mate made laughter as well although this laughter is building on her painful. She is the first among us to cliff dive, however, she felt very painful and few hours later, both of her tight bruised, it was kinda large part which are visible if wearing short. We all don’t understand why this made us laugh but we did joking with her. Lesson learn that proper cliff diving skill is a must to avoid injury as “cliff diving is on your own risk”.

At Ariel Points, there are 3 meters, 5 meters, 8 meters and 15 meters jump. Coward me that only tried the 5 meters jumping with a super loud screaming (cry like hell like killing a pig)…happy thing is that people around me enjoy my screaming as they laugh out happily... haha....

Why I scream out loud?

The process is you take the brave to walk up there...
Then, you hesitate...
Few seconds later, thinking of " I don't care", so another push make you jump
Next, with eyes wide open expecting to touch the water soonest
However, such a long time that my body is dropping and still in the air... and wondering where is the sea water....
At that moment, the pressure on my heart is scary and make me scream out
Soonest after the screaming, I was in the water and feeling relief...

Wondering why those people have the brave to jump down for suicide. Hopeless/ depression are emotion that strong enough to make one suicide especially those jumping down from high building.

Anyway....Ariel point, I will be back… for 8 meters cliff dive and maybe 15 meters jump.

Job Issue vs Human Problem

I believe above mentioned happen in all kind of working environment. Maybe it could be catogoried as below.

A - High Job Issue with High Human Problem, Difficulty --> Full Star
B - High Job Issue with Low Human Problem, Difficulty --> 3 Star
C - Low Job Issue with High Human Problem, Difficulty --> 2 Star
D - Low Job Issue with Low Human Problem, Difficulty --> 1 Star

I believe happiness is inversely proportional to difficulty, so result as below.

A - High Job Issue with High Human Problem, Happiness --> 1 Star
B - High Job Issue with Low Human Problem, Happiness --> 2 Star
C - Low Job Issue with High Human Problem, Happiness --> 3 Star
D - Low Job Issue with Low Human Problem, Happiness --> Full Star

Although it is not necessary to category a company, but I am so desperate to do so.

Let me think, previous company should be B.
And for current, it must be C....

As what it categories now, seem like current condition of my life is better.

Hope this is truely represent my life.

Fame

Someone told me, seeing an art at different level of life brings up different sentimental feelings.
So, it is worth to watch a meaningful movie or read a book for a couple of times at different age to feel the things. It would touch deep inside your heart and makes you understand the life. How the world works.

Fame is a movie. I believe I watched it at my age was the best timing to understand what it really means. The message is really clear and reality. Every sentence every word is so meaningful. You will love it.

The movie talks about arts school where educates and trains students for their dreams. Well deliver the message that all of us should dare to dream and succeed.

I was well with the movie till Kevin tried to end his life in Subway station after his teacher told him that he is not gonna be a professinal ballet dancer forever which it was a dream for him ever since he was borned. He was so devastated till I could feel it deep inside my heart, the scene emphasized myself in this, it was like telling me that I ever had a big dream like he did. But somehow the world killed it like the teacher killed his dream. I don't know who killed my dream but I did giving up my ex-dream and went for another more practical goal of my life. I don't even remember what was the dream I was having. How sad it is.

The movie mentions few students story, it was well casted and made every student's story be the audience's story. It is so easy to map yourself into their story as your own and seriously, I experienced most of the story.

For example, no matter how close how good you are in the group, anyhow, we have to separate just for further our life as it is how the world works. Separate and move on no matter how good the past was. Growing up is happening in our life and you can't stop it. I cried for my friend everytime we separated for our future. I learned it now and do you know what, seem like I locked my feeling as I was getting cooler than ever. Not caring to the world operation, not enthusiasm to social, just lived a my life.

This is a lot better now after my working holiday trip, I learn to connecting my life to world. As saying in the movie, "succeed is not fame. It's not money or power. Success is waking up in the morning so excited about what you have to do that you literally fly out the door. It's getting to work with people you love. Success is connecting with the world and making people feel."

People, make yourself succeess as the definition in the movie. It is a lot happier for life.

6XX Block

Staying in 652A Block for half year, need to move out due to 2nd landlord back to her origin for good.

The 1 year contract was broken. Initially, it was troublesome to me as I need to find a new house to move in.

Anyway, I believe HE gave this opportunity for me to move to a better place.

So there you are, 6xx Block, truely frankly honestly is a way better than the previous one.

I love it sooooooo much.

Almost everything like landlord, roomate, housemate, environment, rental is better.

I was thinking that I will miss the previous room but some how its never happen, I am satisfy with my current condition.

Let's get it start for my life here in 6xx...

Picture is just for illustration...

a SHIT luck day

Gosh.... I had a shit day.
Not any kind of shit...
Is truely physically shit which was smelly, wet, nasty and disgusting.

One day, I went to Macritchie walk with group of friends.
Can't be avoid was photo session in such activity.
I leaned on the edge of bridge.
After shooting, carried on our walking happily.

When my hand accidentally touched my pant, felt like so wet, was wondering was that my sweating?
I felt wrong after some moment, I looked at my hand, me and my friend shouted together
"SHIT ARRRRRR"

All group member said no wonder there was shit smell surrounding them...

OMG, I had a shit day.
One of the member asked my feeling that day.
My answer was: I feel like shit.
Everyone had a laugh.
Actually not that much annoyed to my emotion.
I felt funny also, my first time of touching shit in such a way like so close to it. LOL.

After the matter, I told the story to my roomate and colleague, they were saying the same thing that I had a shit luck which means the shit will bring good luck to me.

Hope its true that shit = luck, means luck is following me now.

=)

三年

我不像会对感情承诺的人
可是对于你，就算多么不甘心，还是说出了一个三年。
是我们的未来

现在的心情，
挺满足现状
蛮期盼未来
可是非常担心中间的变数
因为三年是段长时间
所谓世事难料

请祝福我们